Photo Credit: Wetpaint 

Alright, here are my sassy thoughts on yesterday’s PLL episode. I’m only a day late this time! Shout out to Hulu.

Disclaimer: There are spoilers galore. If you have not seen this episode yet read this blog post, you are ruining it for yourself. Watch the episode listed above and then revel in my witty remarks (or lack thereof).

Paige’s Gift: This looks like a genuinely thoughtful (and expensive) birthday gift for Emily. Hopefully it works out, but I get the feeling that Dominic will be tied to the liars and A somehow. Is anyone else predicting an underwater homicide attempt fiasco?

Aria and Jake’s Date: A tale of two love affairs? While Ezra creeps longingly on Aria and Jake’s pseudo date, his ex-lover and co-parent drops a bomb. Turns out that Maggie got into grad school in Seattle, which begs the question: Who will take care of their son? Does this take her out of the picture?

The Bail: I know you can’t put a price on life, but $1,000,000 for that scumbag Wilden? Even for PLL, that bail’s considerably far-fetched. I’m presaging blackmail/dangerous endeavors on A’s behalf to tempt Hanna with the one million. Also, I have an eerie feeling that the pastor’s connections will somehow come up with the money. Ahem, anonymous donation.

Shauna and Jenna: What exactly does Jenna have to confess about Allison? Why is she running out of time? Why is Shauna so fervently helping her? And since when does Jenna wear glasses again?

Lakehouse: When will these girls learn to stay away from lakes and lake houses? They’re breeding grounds for danger, disaster and death. I know they live in Philadelphia, but come on. Oh, and there’s a bright idea: invite Shauna.

Ezra’s Legal Battle: Well that pairing was bound to happen: Momma Hastings and Ezra. Unfortunately, he’s coming to her for legal advice and contacts so he can gain custody of his son. Although I have always championed Ezria, dislike Maggie and consider Malcolm to be an adorable burden, I felt terrible seeing Ezra so distressed about his legal paternity.

Shauna and Jenna Round Two: Looks like Shauna is schmoozing her way through Rosewood’s social scene. It also looks like Jenna and Shauna are more than friends. I wonder what the origins of this twisted A-centric love affair are.

Paige and Emily: Oh, high school heartbreak. Did these poor girls actually live in a delusional futuristic wonderland in which they both attend Stanford, both swim and both stay in love?

Jenna: What on earth?! Why was Jenna’s corpse floating in the lake? I knew I had an eerie feeling when she told off Aria and walked away from her in the party, but I didn’t think she would end up unconscious in a body of water. She can’t possibly be alive, can she? Who killed her? With what motives? Obviously, there was an altercation of some sort because Jenna couldn’t blindly walk out to the lake. I’m sure Jenna is afraid of Cece, but I still surmise that Allison is involved.

Mona: Back again at Radley? The whole “Will the circle be unbroken?” carving creeped me out and makes me think that it’s going to be a repeat of the past two seasons.

Red Coat: Allison or Cece? That’s the million dollar question… or bail. It seemed like she was breaking into Aria’s house, but why?

Piano: What did the musical notes to ‘Anytime’ signify? That Toby can come to A anytime? Or learn about his mom anytime?